...everybody!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I need some therapy!
I'm using my moderately public forum to promote the greatest charity event in the history of ever (according to me, anyway): Retail Therapy IV: Shopping For A Cause.
Some of you may be familiar with past Retail Therapy events in which we had a fleet of limousines chauffer dozens of shoppers on a one of a kind boutique crawl. As fun as that was (and believe me it was!), we found ourselves restricted to a limited number of participants. In an effort to share the wealth this year we have changed things up a bit.
Your favorite Outer Banks boutiques, designers and artists are taking over a gorgeous oceanfront home in Nags Head and turning it into the ultimate trunk show. It's the perfect opportunity to get together with friends, enjoy some food and drinks compliments of your favorite restaurants, and shop OBX's finest all under one roof. We've got plenty of surprises in store for you as well! You can knock out all your holiday shopping, pick up a little something for yourself, natch, AND you get to support a local charity in the process. Seriously, does it get much better than that?
I'll be back with more details & to keep you updated with all the info you need, including a list of participating boutiques & restaurants. In the meantime, here are the details:
Friday, November 14
6-9 pm
VIPreview Party
$40
Be the first to get your hands on all the loot!
Wine tasting, hors d'oeuvres, raffles, live music and some amazing surprises. Limited number of tickets for this event. Your VIP ticket is valid for the Saturday event as well.
Saturday, November 15
9am-9pm
$20 ($25 at the door)
The ultimate trunk show.
Shop, snack, sip and celebrate all the fabulousness the Outer Banks has to offer.
Grab your spouse/significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend(s)/parents/co-workers/neighbors and come join the fun. All the proceeds raised from ticket sales will support the ally&maddy Retail Therapy Fund* and every penny will stay on the Outer Banks.
*The ally&maddy Retail Therapy Fund was established by a group of local women business owners who wanted to give back to the Outer Banks community. Through seminars, workshops and other outreach, our goal is to promote financial independence, business ownership and entrepreneurship for girls and women on the Outer Banks. Retail Therapy: Shopping For a Cause, our signature fund-raising event, first took place in Fall 2005 and has since become the most unique charity events on the Outer Banks. All the funds raised through Retail Therapy will stay on the Outer Banks to help young girls and women learn to be empowered, independent and successful. The ally&maddy Retail Therapy Fund operates under the umbrella of the Outer Banks Community Foundation, a 501c3 organization.
Some of you may be familiar with past Retail Therapy events in which we had a fleet of limousines chauffer dozens of shoppers on a one of a kind boutique crawl. As fun as that was (and believe me it was!), we found ourselves restricted to a limited number of participants. In an effort to share the wealth this year we have changed things up a bit.
Your favorite Outer Banks boutiques, designers and artists are taking over a gorgeous oceanfront home in Nags Head and turning it into the ultimate trunk show. It's the perfect opportunity to get together with friends, enjoy some food and drinks compliments of your favorite restaurants, and shop OBX's finest all under one roof. We've got plenty of surprises in store for you as well! You can knock out all your holiday shopping, pick up a little something for yourself, natch, AND you get to support a local charity in the process. Seriously, does it get much better than that?
I'll be back with more details & to keep you updated with all the info you need, including a list of participating boutiques & restaurants. In the meantime, here are the details:
Friday, November 14
6-9 pm
VIPreview Party
$40
Be the first to get your hands on all the loot!
Wine tasting, hors d'oeuvres, raffles, live music and some amazing surprises. Limited number of tickets for this event. Your VIP ticket is valid for the Saturday event as well.
Saturday, November 15
9am-9pm
$20 ($25 at the door)
The ultimate trunk show.
Shop, snack, sip and celebrate all the fabulousness the Outer Banks has to offer.
Grab your spouse/significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend(s)/parents/co-workers/neighbors and come join the fun. All the proceeds raised from ticket sales will support the ally&maddy Retail Therapy Fund* and every penny will stay on the Outer Banks.
*The ally&maddy Retail Therapy Fund was established by a group of local women business owners who wanted to give back to the Outer Banks community. Through seminars, workshops and other outreach, our goal is to promote financial independence, business ownership and entrepreneurship for girls and women on the Outer Banks. Retail Therapy: Shopping For a Cause, our signature fund-raising event, first took place in Fall 2005 and has since become the most unique charity events on the Outer Banks. All the funds raised through Retail Therapy will stay on the Outer Banks to help young girls and women learn to be empowered, independent and successful. The ally&maddy Retail Therapy Fund operates under the umbrella of the Outer Banks Community Foundation, a 501c3 organization.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Heeeeyyyyyy Donuts!!
I logged on to finish my post about Retail Therapy (something exciting to look forward to tomorrow, kids!), and I came across this tasty little tidbit:
Krispy Kreme giving out free donuts to voters on Election Day
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., Oct. 28 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. wants to applaud Americans who exercise their right to vote in the 2008 Presidential campaign. On Election Day, Nov. 4, 2008, participating Krispy Kreme stores will offer one free star-shaped doughnut with red, white and blue sprinkles to each customer wearing an "I Voted" sticker. While voters may not always agree on the best candidate, voters can agree on one thing: Celebrating one of America's most coveted constitutional rights can be oh-so sweet.
I clicked through to the article fingers crossed, hoping it was a Dunkin' Donuts promotion - cause we've got a couple of those down here now - only to crumple in disappointment. And then I read this part:
"We can't guarantee that your candidate of preference will win on November 4, but we can guarantee that your right to voice your choice will be rewarded with a patriotic doughnut that will remind you just how tasty freedom really is," said Krispy Kreme's Chef Ron Rupocinski. "Krispy Kreme encourages everyone to take part in this historical election and vote."
Yes Mr. Rupocinski, freedom is indeed tasty. And nothing screams America more than trans fat and sugar loaded deep-fried dough.
"The star-shaped treats are made from Krispy Kreme's signature, yeast-raised dough and available only on Nov. 4. The promotion is good for one doughnut per customer. Select stores may be offering yeast-raised doughnuts in the standard circle shape, but decorated with red, white and blue sprinkles."
Of course, this begs the question: (and I think you know where I'm going with this) if Obama wins do we get free chocolate donuts? And if McCain emerges victorious....day old crullers?
Friday, October 17, 2008
Keep your pants on
When the following headline popped up on my computer screen, I just couldn't resist investigating further:
No Pants Is The New Skinny Jean
Wow. Apparently it was the trend for designers to send their models down the runway in what basically amounts to bejeweled panties. Though this is one trend I'm not TOO terribly concerned about catching on, I can actually see where one could make an argument in its favor.
I'd like to take you on a trip through what I like to call the evolution of an outfit. Here's how it works: you've got one article of clothing you KNOW you want to wear. So you put it on. Let's say, for this argument, that it's a killer pair of shoes. So you strap on the shoes, and start rummaging through your wardrobe in search of a coordinating piece (but not matchy-matchy cause that would be just wrong), and your eyes fall on a pretty blouse. So you put it on. Cute! Now to the bottom half. Hmm...these pants go with the top, let's try 'em. Very cute pants, but they cover the shoes, so no go. These pants over here are the perfect length and go GREAT with the shoes. Put those on. But they don't look so hot with the blouse. But you know what does?? That sweater. Put it on. Ack! No. Take it off. What about that super cute new dressy tee. It's good, but it needs a little somethin. The cardigan? Nope, that looks like crap. OOH I know - that coat! Perfect. The top part of my outfit is fantastic, but doesn't really go with these pants. Let's try these pants over here. Not good for the butt. Maybe a skirt? That would show off the shoes a little better. So, off with the pants, you try on several skirts, and after 4 or 5 tries you just can't get the proportion right.
Now, at this point, you're probably about 20 minutes late for wherever you're supposed to be heading, and possibly starting to break into a bit of a sweat as well. Your husband/boyfriend is starting to get annoyed (you're not dressed YET? What the hell was wrong with the first 3 outfits you tried on?), you explain you'll be ready in TWO MINUTES I SWEAR (which is code for put a sock in it, cause I'm bloated and you have NO IDEA how hard this is all you had to do was throw on some pants & a button down so just step off). At this point, pretty much the entire contents of your closet are on the floor and/or the bed and you're ready to give up, throw on some sweats and call it a night, when in fact what you really want to do is this:
Of course I would recommend a bra, and a little more effort on the hair, but you get my point.
No Pants Is The New Skinny Jean
Wow. Apparently it was the trend for designers to send their models down the runway in what basically amounts to bejeweled panties. Though this is one trend I'm not TOO terribly concerned about catching on, I can actually see where one could make an argument in its favor.
I'd like to take you on a trip through what I like to call the evolution of an outfit. Here's how it works: you've got one article of clothing you KNOW you want to wear. So you put it on. Let's say, for this argument, that it's a killer pair of shoes. So you strap on the shoes, and start rummaging through your wardrobe in search of a coordinating piece (but not matchy-matchy cause that would be just wrong), and your eyes fall on a pretty blouse. So you put it on. Cute! Now to the bottom half. Hmm...these pants go with the top, let's try 'em. Very cute pants, but they cover the shoes, so no go. These pants over here are the perfect length and go GREAT with the shoes. Put those on. But they don't look so hot with the blouse. But you know what does?? That sweater. Put it on. Ack! No. Take it off. What about that super cute new dressy tee. It's good, but it needs a little somethin. The cardigan? Nope, that looks like crap. OOH I know - that coat! Perfect. The top part of my outfit is fantastic, but doesn't really go with these pants. Let's try these pants over here. Not good for the butt. Maybe a skirt? That would show off the shoes a little better. So, off with the pants, you try on several skirts, and after 4 or 5 tries you just can't get the proportion right.
Now, at this point, you're probably about 20 minutes late for wherever you're supposed to be heading, and possibly starting to break into a bit of a sweat as well. Your husband/boyfriend is starting to get annoyed (you're not dressed YET? What the hell was wrong with the first 3 outfits you tried on?), you explain you'll be ready in TWO MINUTES I SWEAR (which is code for put a sock in it, cause I'm bloated and you have NO IDEA how hard this is all you had to do was throw on some pants & a button down so just step off). At this point, pretty much the entire contents of your closet are on the floor and/or the bed and you're ready to give up, throw on some sweats and call it a night, when in fact what you really want to do is this:
Of course I would recommend a bra, and a little more effort on the hair, but you get my point.
T.F.G.I.F
Which means it's one day closer to....
Can we take a minute to discuss the fabulousness that is this video? We'll skip over the fact that it's completely out of sync, which really only adds to its charm. Check out that amazing lighting, that tricky choreographed dance move (up two three four, back two three four), those incredible pants -- are they man-pri's or gauchos (man-chos?) -- the striped socks on the drummer, which if I'm not mistaken he has paired with a plaid shirt and suspenders, the hair, the tight satin shirt on the lead singer. It's a cornucopia of cheesy 70's goodness. No need to thank me, just enjoy.
Can we take a minute to discuss the fabulousness that is this video? We'll skip over the fact that it's completely out of sync, which really only adds to its charm. Check out that amazing lighting, that tricky choreographed dance move (up two three four, back two three four), those incredible pants -- are they man-pri's or gauchos (man-chos?) -- the striped socks on the drummer, which if I'm not mistaken he has paired with a plaid shirt and suspenders, the hair, the tight satin shirt on the lead singer. It's a cornucopia of cheesy 70's goodness. No need to thank me, just enjoy.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
...and we're auf...
PR finale just began. if there's anybody out there, feel free to join me in the comments. first question: can we virtually bitch slap kenley?
Phew!!!
Did you ever play the tunnel game when you were little? Or play it now with your kids? You know the one-you're traveling- usually on an actual trip- and a tunnel looms in the distance. Everybody starts taking deep cleansing breaths. In and Out. DEEP CLEANSING BREATHS. Then, suddenly, the car/truck/SUV take-yer-pick is actually in the tunnel. And the car is absolutely quiet. No talking, no whispering, no whistling... in fact... NO BREATHING is going on in the entire car.
Everyone is holding their breath, trying to make it the whole way through the tunnel and out the other end without another gasp of oxygen. (I assume the whole concept has something to do with the fact the most tunnels are underwater where human beings can't naturally breathe.) Eyes bulging, fingers scrabbling frantically, unspoken voices pleading with the driver through sign language to go faster! Go faster! (I finally learned not to play this game if actually driving the car since the risk of an oxygen deprived blackout is probably not in your passenger's best interests). And finally! There! The light at the end of the tunnel! Getting closer, closer until..... PHRSCHEW!!! All the breaths are released and life returns to normal.
That's kind of how I feel being almost at the end of my self-imposed blog blackout. You know, the one that started about the same time that Project Runway got really, really boring. I didn't want to talk about it yet knew if I was blogging I would have to and then the entire show would start to REALLY annoy me and PISS me off... but it ends tonight. Big wup. woo-hoo and all that. Now here are some things I'm going to get to ASAP...
the Presidential Race. Barack Obama. Michelle Obama's clothes. This year's mall fashions. The search for a great OBX manicure. Ignorant people. Properly handling hair crises. HSM 3. My Awesome Halloween Costume.... the list goes on and on... c u soon.
**And big thanks to Bravo for making the whole blog vacation possible. But next time can I borrow a few things from the Blue Fly wall?
Everyone is holding their breath, trying to make it the whole way through the tunnel and out the other end without another gasp of oxygen. (I assume the whole concept has something to do with the fact the most tunnels are underwater where human beings can't naturally breathe.) Eyes bulging, fingers scrabbling frantically, unspoken voices pleading with the driver through sign language to go faster! Go faster! (I finally learned not to play this game if actually driving the car since the risk of an oxygen deprived blackout is probably not in your passenger's best interests). And finally! There! The light at the end of the tunnel! Getting closer, closer until..... PHRSCHEW!!! All the breaths are released and life returns to normal.
That's kind of how I feel being almost at the end of my self-imposed blog blackout. You know, the one that started about the same time that Project Runway got really, really boring. I didn't want to talk about it yet knew if I was blogging I would have to and then the entire show would start to REALLY annoy me and PISS me off... but it ends tonight. Big wup. woo-hoo and all that. Now here are some things I'm going to get to ASAP...
the Presidential Race. Barack Obama. Michelle Obama's clothes. This year's mall fashions. The search for a great OBX manicure. Ignorant people. Properly handling hair crises. HSM 3. My Awesome Halloween Costume.... the list goes on and on... c u soon.
**And big thanks to Bravo for making the whole blog vacation possible. But next time can I borrow a few things from the Blue Fly wall?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
If you ask me, they're all losers
I know it's waaaay past the big event, but I made a promise and damn if I'm not going to keep it. I can't let my loyal readers down! So Claiborne, Monika...this one's for you!
Due to my usual Sunday night chaos, I wasn't able to sit down and watch the live broadcast until it was more than half over, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I did sit back down in my cozy chair a couple nights later and try to watch the entire thing again to provide my insight and sjlfdua oia ioauioujioujioureizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whoa. Sorry about that. Nodded off for a bit. The sad fact is, these people bore me. Life was so much better before all the stars had stylists and they just showed up as their own crazy selves. You know, when Joan Rivers was bitingly funny and before she had her face pulled so tight you could bounce a quarter on it and got her vapid daughter involved. Ahhh, the good ol days. But now the celebs are all carbon copies of each other, and even the ones who get it wrong aren't doing it to express their quirky sense of style, they're just tacky. Sigh. Snore. Maybe part of my problem is that my reaction to at least half of the people strutting and posing across my screen is, "who the hell is that?" and "who the hell actually STANDS like that?" (see Zellweger, Renee)
I have however, finally sorted through all the pics I could handle, and I'll start posting some thoughts. Like this one:
Hey lookie there! Christina Hendricks brought her Golden Globes to the Emmy's! Looking good Joanie, looking good. Though I don't recall her head looking so tiny on the show...
Next up: bring on the crazy....
Due to my usual Sunday night chaos, I wasn't able to sit down and watch the live broadcast until it was more than half over, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I did sit back down in my cozy chair a couple nights later and try to watch the entire thing again to provide my insight and sjlfdua oia ioauioujioujioureizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whoa. Sorry about that. Nodded off for a bit. The sad fact is, these people bore me. Life was so much better before all the stars had stylists and they just showed up as their own crazy selves. You know, when Joan Rivers was bitingly funny and before she had her face pulled so tight you could bounce a quarter on it and got her vapid daughter involved. Ahhh, the good ol days. But now the celebs are all carbon copies of each other, and even the ones who get it wrong aren't doing it to express their quirky sense of style, they're just tacky. Sigh. Snore. Maybe part of my problem is that my reaction to at least half of the people strutting and posing across my screen is, "who the hell is that?" and "who the hell actually STANDS like that?" (see Zellweger, Renee) I have however, finally sorted through all the pics I could handle, and I'll start posting some thoughts. Like this one:
Hey lookie there! Christina Hendricks brought her Golden Globes to the Emmy's! Looking good Joanie, looking good. Though I don't recall her head looking so tiny on the show...
Next up: bring on the crazy....
Friday, September 19, 2008
I know. I know.
We've been baaaaaad bloggers. Our intentions were good, our hearts in the right place, but as Sister Hazel puts it, "Life got in the way." But we're back dear readers, if there are any of you left out there. And we're coming back strong! (not this post per se, but soon...very soon.)
Sunday night brings the spectacle known as the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards. Now, I've only been aware of this for about 12 hours, so I have absolutely nothing to offer in the way of predictions, insight or pre-game commentary. Not that you care, because let's be honest, we only watch these shows in the hope that someone will show up dressed batshit crazy. (Dear God I hope Bjork is nominated for SOMETHING.) All I know is this: there are 5 hosts and they are all the nominees for Outstanding Reality/Competition Host. Seriously Emmy people? Tom Bergeron? Howie Mendel? Jeff Probst? Ryan f'ing Seacrest for crying out loud?! That's the best they could do? Don't we have to tolerate enough of these tools already? (Not you Heidi, you're fabulous. Just don't forget to look at the teleprompter and you'll be fine, liebchen.) **by the way...thought you'd like to know I just confirmed my German spelling at what is possibly the greatest of all double entendre websites...quickdic.com.
Jamie and I will be tuning in at 8pm/7 central, with our laptops and bitchy, snarky comments at the ready. That, and our deep, deep love for all things Mad Men.
Do be sure to join us in the comments section as we live blog the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sure to be irritatingly long acceptance speeches.
Sunday night brings the spectacle known as the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards. Now, I've only been aware of this for about 12 hours, so I have absolutely nothing to offer in the way of predictions, insight or pre-game commentary. Not that you care, because let's be honest, we only watch these shows in the hope that someone will show up dressed batshit crazy. (Dear God I hope Bjork is nominated for SOMETHING.) All I know is this: there are 5 hosts and they are all the nominees for Outstanding Reality/Competition Host. Seriously Emmy people? Tom Bergeron? Howie Mendel? Jeff Probst? Ryan f'ing Seacrest for crying out loud?! That's the best they could do? Don't we have to tolerate enough of these tools already? (Not you Heidi, you're fabulous. Just don't forget to look at the teleprompter and you'll be fine, liebchen.) **by the way...thought you'd like to know I just confirmed my German spelling at what is possibly the greatest of all double entendre websites...quickdic.com. Jamie and I will be tuning in at 8pm/7 central, with our laptops and bitchy, snarky comments at the ready. That, and our deep, deep love for all things Mad Men.
Do be sure to join us in the comments section as we live blog the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sure to be irritatingly long acceptance speeches.
Friday, August 22, 2008
What a Drag!
It's official (because my sister agrees with me)...Wednesday nights cross dressing Project Runway was the greatest runway show in the history of ever. It was auf the hook! (Ha! See what I did there? Suck on that Heidi!) That episode was so freakin' entertaining that I'm actually going to watch it TWICE. Drag Queens! Sequins! RuPaul! Gay pterydactyls! The mere thought of Michael Kors in drag! It's all just too too good. So humor me for one more night whilst I watch it again with unabashed glee, and I'll post some thoughts tomorrow. Or Sunday. Whatever.
In the meantime, Jamie has made the astute observation that we are in serious need of our own drag queen names. So far, I've come up with....nothing. I'm asking for your help people. Best submission wins a free bowl of 'candy'. (and if you watched the episode, you'll get that joke. hee.)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
An Olympic Comeback
Sorry I've been out of touch dear readers. I've been suffering from a case of Olympic fever, which I seem to come down with every 2 years (unlike Bullets fever, which happens to me every year). I'm also in the midst of the mid-to-late-August Outer Banks Business Owners blues, aka when all the summer help returns to college and I actually have to WORK again. So it's about all I can do to keep myself awake at night long enough to marvel at the Olympic porn, much less get on my painfully slow computer and post a blog. And by Olympic porn, of course I mean the awe inspiring abdominals and biceps of the swimmers, divers, water polo players and gymnasts.
Holy hell. I don't know if the USOC has cut back on the amount of fabric used in their uniforms as a result of budget cuts, or maybe they're going green & trying to 'conserve', but I think I speak on behalf of most viewers when I say, thank you thank you thank you! And though they have been relatively equitable with the eye candy for both male and female viewers, I must ask why the female volleyball players are practically naked while the men romp around in baggy tanks and shorts. Compared to the see-through dental floss the women are prancing around in, the men are practically wearing burkas! Something's amiss. Shouldn't men's Olympic volleyball be more reminiscent of, oh i don't know.... THIS??(Do you think they have the net at about 4'9" so Tom Cruise can actually reach it?)
Some other Olympic observations:
Bob Costas is a tool.
Exactly how many boxing matches ARE there? Every time I turn on CSNBCUSAXYZPDQ it's all boxing all the time. Although I do love me some Teddy Atlas and have found him to be the only interesting thing worth watching on that channel.
Tim Daggett wears more make up than Elfie Shlagel or whatever her name is.
Tiki Barber should not, I repeat NOT be allowed to commentate, pontificate, facilitate or do anything else involving a microphone and broadcasting. Tiki. Honey. You were tolerable (mildly) on the Today show, grating on Project Runway, and downright painful to watch during the 30 seconds of your Olympic coverage I was able to stomach.
Greatest Olympic name: Dong Dong, the Chinese trampoline 'athlete'. Go ahead, try to say it without giggling.
Hey, you think the Jamaican runners are using some kind of "performance enhacing substance"? Just wondering....
Finally, and on a completely different topic -
I have not watched the last 3 episodes of PR (I hear ya, Clai - they bore me too) so I really can't comment on what's going on with the show this season. But I thought you all might enjoy seeing how I'm doing in the fantasy league...
team_hotpants' Project Runway
-8 Points, this week.
-7 Points, total this season.
4366th On this week's leaderboard
4089th On the overall leaderboard
Jamie, that should make you feel a little better.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Another gogo with Jojo...
Okay, add Lipstick Jungle to the list of 'Shows I Should Be Watching As If I Had The Time' which also includes KQ's favorite MadMen and Californication which was recommended by somebody at the coffee shop, probably Shane.
This week's recap features another guest appearance by none other than Jojoagogo, now dancing at the Stewartstown VFW. Just kiddin'. Down to business, we already know from last week that this week's guest is Brooke Shields. Ya gotta love Brooke. I think grace is her middle name. It's been awhile since the episode and I'm a little foggy but here are my highlights (speaking of which I really need to make an appt. w/Angie, the only colorist in Duck)...
Blayne... Bratty Blayne... Crazy Blayne... I am so over with the hoodies already, and the 'licious, ... dude, you are so not crazy but you do almost take Leann out which needs to be done if only for that really weird ruched burgundy add-a-cowl thing she was sporting. Leanne complains she has 'lost her confidence' which is hard to do if you didn't have any to begin with. Tim's comment about the whole shorts debacle was 'its not a bad idea' but I interpreted that to be the equivalent of the infamous mom comment 'he might have a nice personality'. Even Brooke was initially a little scared of Blayne's design... aren't we all a little scared of Blaynanoma? Jojo points out that yet another design manages to make a model's size -2 hips look big. Bad, bad, bad. Heidi points out his model looks like she got dressed without a mirror... umm, have y'all really looked, I mean LOOKED at Leann?
Jojoagogo totally calls the fact that all the models will be sporting Brooke-like tresses courtesy of the Tresemme hair salon. Everybody drink.
Suede, 37, amazingly claims to remember Brooke's Calvin Klein ads.. barely, I'm sure. Suede gets all Mr. High Maintenance on Terri resulting in Terri's rather crass 'I'm not -bleep- feeding any babies'. For the record, she's still on my team and I'm sure she said breast because she would never use any of the euphemism I hate for this part of a woman's body and I hate ALL of them...
Korto's got a veggie thing going on... first the gourd dress, now the sweet potato jacket but I love the way she handles Joe, refusing to push him under that old, tired, broken down bus that Bravo keeps using.
Jerrell, Jerrell, Jerrell... If I'd remembered to change my team you wouldn't be on it but Flyboy claims 'he's due'. Yeah, due to go home after last week's Peter Pan hat. But all my eggs end up in his basket and I am so crossin' fingers when he pulls out the 'Ms. Shields' card. What home-training. Brooke worries a bit about the belt but Michael and Heidi love it reminding her with their snarky comments that 'Brooke don't know fashion'. Jarrell, I am so worried about the man dress look you are sporting. The runway is about your MODEL not YOU.... nevertheless you are THE man tonight, my MAIN man, because no way are they gonna let Keith and Kenley's mermaid skirt top you... WWWHHHHAAATTT??? OMG, call BravoTV... the PR judges have gone straight from smokin' crack to crystal meth. Unbelievable.
Kelli's parting comment 'I have no regrets'... you're gonna regret those full arm tatts one day, honey. Daniel & Kenley's crush is OVER... Stella gets to work with Leatha.. plus she's totally channeling Cher for awhile there with the pigtails and everything which actually kind of works for her.
Jojagogo's Coors Light Comment of the Night: Michael Kors, 'Slutty, slutty, slutty'. So under the breath in the girl's bathroom, so catlike, so Michael.
Are designers getting money now for using Mood totes all the time? Why do we never see fights over shoes at the Bluefly Accessories wall? Could Heidi just STOP looking younger every week? Could I get a hug from Tim? Oooo, up next- DRAG QUEENS!!! Whoo-hoo! Perfect for a season that doesn't really have a Priscilla-like contestant. (Can't wait to have Chris back.) But pause for thought a minute over this astute parting observation from Jojoagogo- why are they asking them to make a 'costume' when the judges are always complaining about things being 'costumey'? It's a question for the ages.. or at least until next week's recap... I'll miss you Jojo! But I'll be taking notes for future costume ideas for your 'routines'....
This week's recap features another guest appearance by none other than Jojoagogo, now dancing at the Stewartstown VFW. Just kiddin'. Down to business, we already know from last week that this week's guest is Brooke Shields. Ya gotta love Brooke. I think grace is her middle name. It's been awhile since the episode and I'm a little foggy but here are my highlights (speaking of which I really need to make an appt. w/Angie, the only colorist in Duck)...
Blayne... Bratty Blayne... Crazy Blayne... I am so over with the hoodies already, and the 'licious, ... dude, you are so not crazy but you do almost take Leann out which needs to be done if only for that really weird ruched burgundy add-a-cowl thing she was sporting. Leanne complains she has 'lost her confidence' which is hard to do if you didn't have any to begin with. Tim's comment about the whole shorts debacle was 'its not a bad idea' but I interpreted that to be the equivalent of the infamous mom comment 'he might have a nice personality'. Even Brooke was initially a little scared of Blayne's design... aren't we all a little scared of Blaynanoma? Jojo points out that yet another design manages to make a model's size -2 hips look big. Bad, bad, bad. Heidi points out his model looks like she got dressed without a mirror... umm, have y'all really looked, I mean LOOKED at Leann?
Jojoagogo totally calls the fact that all the models will be sporting Brooke-like tresses courtesy of the Tresemme hair salon. Everybody drink.
Suede, 37, amazingly claims to remember Brooke's Calvin Klein ads.. barely, I'm sure. Suede gets all Mr. High Maintenance on Terri resulting in Terri's rather crass 'I'm not -bleep- feeding any babies'. For the record, she's still on my team and I'm sure she said breast because she would never use any of the euphemism I hate for this part of a woman's body and I hate ALL of them...
Korto's got a veggie thing going on... first the gourd dress, now the sweet potato jacket but I love the way she handles Joe, refusing to push him under that old, tired, broken down bus that Bravo keeps using.
Jerrell, Jerrell, Jerrell... If I'd remembered to change my team you wouldn't be on it but Flyboy claims 'he's due'. Yeah, due to go home after last week's Peter Pan hat. But all my eggs end up in his basket and I am so crossin' fingers when he pulls out the 'Ms. Shields' card. What home-training. Brooke worries a bit about the belt but Michael and Heidi love it reminding her with their snarky comments that 'Brooke don't know fashion'. Jarrell, I am so worried about the man dress look you are sporting. The runway is about your MODEL not YOU.... nevertheless you are THE man tonight, my MAIN man, because no way are they gonna let Keith and Kenley's mermaid skirt top you... WWWHHHHAAATTT??? OMG, call BravoTV... the PR judges have gone straight from smokin' crack to crystal meth. Unbelievable.
Kelli's parting comment 'I have no regrets'... you're gonna regret those full arm tatts one day, honey. Daniel & Kenley's crush is OVER... Stella gets to work with Leatha.. plus she's totally channeling Cher for awhile there with the pigtails and everything which actually kind of works for her.
Jojagogo's Coors Light Comment of the Night: Michael Kors, 'Slutty, slutty, slutty'. So under the breath in the girl's bathroom, so catlike, so Michael.
Are designers getting money now for using Mood totes all the time? Why do we never see fights over shoes at the Bluefly Accessories wall? Could Heidi just STOP looking younger every week? Could I get a hug from Tim? Oooo, up next- DRAG QUEENS!!! Whoo-hoo! Perfect for a season that doesn't really have a Priscilla-like contestant. (Can't wait to have Chris back.) But pause for thought a minute over this astute parting observation from Jojoagogo- why are they asking them to make a 'costume' when the judges are always complaining about things being 'costumey'? It's a question for the ages.. or at least until next week's recap... I'll miss you Jojo! But I'll be taking notes for future costume ideas for your 'routines'....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I'm cabbage patching right now...
13.. count 'em, THIRTEEN points last night... I almost blew by Claiborne but NO, she had to go and get ten points... and then there's flyboy still out there with 30 but I'm telling you Mr. Fancypants- I'm coming to GIT CHA!! Thank god for little points, cause that's all I got last night but they sure do add up! Stay tuned for a recap of last night's episode... and would somebody issue an APB for Katherine?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
A Little PR with Jojoagogo
Got to enjoy a little Project Runway last week with faithful QB reader Jojoagogo. Over a few glasses of wine, couple bottles of beer, amidst the drama of sewing machine sabotage and patriotic fervor I forgot to ask her about that name. Is she a huge Wham! fan? Does she wish instead of lawyer, mother and wife she was Bubbles down at Girls! Girls! Girls!? Jojoagogo- inquiring minds WANT to know- what’s with the name? Back to PR, Episode 4 and random thoughts from Rings of Glory...
I don’t know what annoys me most about Blayne- the tanning addiction or the hoodies obsession; right now it’s a close tie. I wish he would just go the F away. Can’t decide if Kenley’s switch to a huge flower in her hair instead of feathers is an improvement. Her friggin’ headpieces are like a birds vs. bees fight. Field Trip!! As soon as they enter Armory Track & Field place I know there’s some kind of Olympic challenge coming up. Call me psychic if you will, but it isn’t that hard to stay one step ahead of the PR producers sometimes. The gym is empty save for an in-line skater who happens to be none other than… huh? Who is that guy? Next to me Jojoagogo is practically peeing her pants (thank god it’s a leather couch)- “Apolo ! It’s Apolo Ohno!” Damn. I thought it was Marc Andre Fleury from the Penguins but apparently its his look-a-like Olympic gold medalist Apolo with this week’s challenge! Design an outfit that a Team USA athlete would be proud to wear at opening ceremonies which of course, just happen to be on Friday. (With Jojoagogo as my witness, I totally called this challenge as soon as Tim introduced Apolo). HUGE budget on this one- $130. And off we go to Mood.
Back to the work room… looks like Kenley and Daniel have one of those work-room crushes going on- all sibling giggles and teasing (and then POW: sibling rivalry as later Kenley convinces Daniel to lose the bolero that may have saved him here.) Stella not only has these huge vicious spikes coming out of her clothes today but she, naturally, has bought black for her outfit. I believe one of her comments was she wanted Team USA to look ‘bad ass’. On Chinese soil, I’m not sure that’s a good thing. Blayne goes with the whole literal one-shouldered toga imagery but his outfit looks like a prototype for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Barbie! Includes triple layer pollution mask! And button that says “Mr. President- I’m waiting for my butt smack!”… I digress.. But apparently Blayne is so tanning desperate he’s seeing everything in cold, stark white these days hence the domination of the color in his outfit.
Terri- come on girl, I picked you again for my team but I’m worried about the bustier thing- there aren’t too many female Olympic athletes out there with the bosoms to hold one of those things up- and muscle doesn’t sag so they definitely don’t need any push-up help. (But she does pull it off- not enough to rack up any points for me, though.)
Joe with the zippers- very witty; I like Joe, he’s a dark horse AND he finally gets me some points by fighting with another designer and accusing one of messing with his machine. Woo-hoo! Jerrell- I am dropping you from my team next week. Your Olympic outfit scared me man; and between your weird little Peter Pan hat and the Little Bo Peep look of your model the two of you looked like you got lost looking for the cafeteria on the Warner Brothers lot.
I have renamed Jennifer “Dorothy” because she needs to go back to Kansas. She says how in high school she was a ‘dancer and a gymnast and a cheerleader’ and that’s exactly what happens when there are only 80 people in your high school. I’m sorry, but this girl is just so out of her league here that Tim used both these words to describe her outfit ‘matronly’ and ‘junior’- can’t we please do her a favor and send her home? Huge sigh of relief… they do. And as she is taking her last walk off the runway, Jojo notices she is wearing red pumps. Goodbye Dorothy.
Some of my favorite comments (I’ll attribute them if I can remember which inane person uttered them): ‘Uniforms make everyone look generic’ … duh, I think that’s the point. Jarrell calls Blaine ‘Tanorexic’ Here’s another one from me ‘blayneanoma’, Tim just can’t get his mouth around ‘cha’ in ‘holla at cha boy’ and persists in saying ‘cher’; Heidi actually says ‘idears’, I think its when she’s wearing the chain mail… When Michael Kors during judging uses finger quotations around the word ‘athletic’ and Kelli says her outfit is ‘not 100% relevant to the Olympics’ I want to remind them both that this was an OLYMPICS challenge. Jeezus.
So Korto wins, of course I took her off my team this week. I think she’s going to be strong. Love Terri’s jeans and black top, wish I could see Daniel after the show kicking Kelly’s ass for making him lose the bolero and…. See you after Episode 5!
I don’t know what annoys me most about Blayne- the tanning addiction or the hoodies obsession; right now it’s a close tie. I wish he would just go the F away. Can’t decide if Kenley’s switch to a huge flower in her hair instead of feathers is an improvement. Her friggin’ headpieces are like a birds vs. bees fight. Field Trip!! As soon as they enter Armory Track & Field place I know there’s some kind of Olympic challenge coming up. Call me psychic if you will, but it isn’t that hard to stay one step ahead of the PR producers sometimes. The gym is empty save for an in-line skater who happens to be none other than… huh? Who is that guy? Next to me Jojoagogo is practically peeing her pants (thank god it’s a leather couch)- “Apolo ! It’s Apolo Ohno!” Damn. I thought it was Marc Andre Fleury from the Penguins but apparently its his look-a-like Olympic gold medalist Apolo with this week’s challenge! Design an outfit that a Team USA athlete would be proud to wear at opening ceremonies which of course, just happen to be on Friday. (With Jojoagogo as my witness, I totally called this challenge as soon as Tim introduced Apolo). HUGE budget on this one- $130. And off we go to Mood.
Back to the work room… looks like Kenley and Daniel have one of those work-room crushes going on- all sibling giggles and teasing (and then POW: sibling rivalry as later Kenley convinces Daniel to lose the bolero that may have saved him here.) Stella not only has these huge vicious spikes coming out of her clothes today but she, naturally, has bought black for her outfit. I believe one of her comments was she wanted Team USA to look ‘bad ass’. On Chinese soil, I’m not sure that’s a good thing. Blayne goes with the whole literal one-shouldered toga imagery but his outfit looks like a prototype for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Barbie! Includes triple layer pollution mask! And button that says “Mr. President- I’m waiting for my butt smack!”… I digress.. But apparently Blayne is so tanning desperate he’s seeing everything in cold, stark white these days hence the domination of the color in his outfit.
Terri- come on girl, I picked you again for my team but I’m worried about the bustier thing- there aren’t too many female Olympic athletes out there with the bosoms to hold one of those things up- and muscle doesn’t sag so they definitely don’t need any push-up help. (But she does pull it off- not enough to rack up any points for me, though.)
Joe with the zippers- very witty; I like Joe, he’s a dark horse AND he finally gets me some points by fighting with another designer and accusing one of messing with his machine. Woo-hoo! Jerrell- I am dropping you from my team next week. Your Olympic outfit scared me man; and between your weird little Peter Pan hat and the Little Bo Peep look of your model the two of you looked like you got lost looking for the cafeteria on the Warner Brothers lot.
I have renamed Jennifer “Dorothy” because she needs to go back to Kansas. She says how in high school she was a ‘dancer and a gymnast and a cheerleader’ and that’s exactly what happens when there are only 80 people in your high school. I’m sorry, but this girl is just so out of her league here that Tim used both these words to describe her outfit ‘matronly’ and ‘junior’- can’t we please do her a favor and send her home? Huge sigh of relief… they do. And as she is taking her last walk off the runway, Jojo notices she is wearing red pumps. Goodbye Dorothy.
Some of my favorite comments (I’ll attribute them if I can remember which inane person uttered them): ‘Uniforms make everyone look generic’ … duh, I think that’s the point. Jarrell calls Blaine ‘Tanorexic’ Here’s another one from me ‘blayneanoma’, Tim just can’t get his mouth around ‘cha’ in ‘holla at cha boy’ and persists in saying ‘cher’; Heidi actually says ‘idears’, I think its when she’s wearing the chain mail… When Michael Kors during judging uses finger quotations around the word ‘athletic’ and Kelli says her outfit is ‘not 100% relevant to the Olympics’ I want to remind them both that this was an OLYMPICS challenge. Jeezus.
So Korto wins, of course I took her off my team this week. I think she’s going to be strong. Love Terri’s jeans and black top, wish I could see Daniel after the show kicking Kelly’s ass for making him lose the bolero and…. See you after Episode 5!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I'm a debutante!
Just in case anyone missed it, I have finally scored some points. In fact, my whopping nine points from last night not only sees me debuting at the #4 spot on the Queen Beaches group page, but also ranks me overall on fafarazzi as 138th for this week's episode and 1,367 overall.
Look out Flyboy, HepmehepmeTim is comin' to get cha!
Look out Flyboy, HepmehepmeTim is comin' to get cha!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Could I get a friggin' point over here please?!
Just a little, bitter, reminder that it is Tuesday which means Project Runway is on tomorrow which means you better run over to Fafarazzi.com and evaluate your team roster. I've been considering my utter lack of points so far this season which leads to my status on the leader board- N/A. How humiliating. I'm thinking about auctioning off the rights to choose my weekly team roster on E-bay. Don't knock it, some guy just paid $8k for a dorito that looks like Dale Earnhardt. Wish me luck....
Monday, August 4, 2008
TONIGHT ON BRAVO...
Welcome to Judy's World-O-Beauty in Anywhere-Small-Town, USA. Judy's has been struggling for some time and the owners, Mark-n-Anthony, aren't sure how much longer they'll be able to stay afloat. Half their customers have disappeared this year and while Mark thinks it is a sign of the forthcoming rapture, Anthony is pretty sure it is Mark's failing eyesight and stubborn refusal to wear glasses. They've had to let most of their other stylists go and are now down to manicurist Tranh, a 70 year old shampoo 'girl' named Bess and receptionist/hair sweeper/girl Friday- Dawyn. What they don't know this Friday morning is that Sabrina Bryan, the Queen of Mean from Bravo TV's Shear Genius, is on her way right now to their salon....
SABRINA'S SALON TAKEOVER
Sabrina (striding purposefully through the door as Mark-n-Anthony stand gaping at the sight): Right then, what the (bleep) is going on here?
Anthony: ohmyGOD!!! It's Sabrina!! Mark, our prayers to Jennifer Lopez have been answered! Sabrina is here to save us!
Mark: What? Where? Is that Mr. Magoo?
Sabrina: Did you just (bleeping) compare me to a dingbat old man? I'm here to (bleepin) save you (bleepin) (bleeps) and you insult me the second I walk through the door?
Anthony: Mark, you douchebag, I told you you needed glasses!! Its S-A-B-R-I-N-A from Shear Genius! She's going to help us!
Mark: Oh sweetie, she scares the livin' daylights outta me.
Sabrina: Scary? I'll show you (bleepin) scary- 'ave you seen the cuts you've been sending out of this (bleep) hole lately? We've had a hidden camera on this (bleepin) shop all week and look what kind of (bleep) you've been sending out of here.
(fade to videos of very bad haircuts)
Mark (now crying and clinging to Anthony): Oh honey, don't leave me, you're the wind beneath my wings, I'm so sorry, I'll do anything. I'll listen to the witch, just DON'T LEAVE...
Sabrina: I'm sorry did you just call me a (bleepin) witch?
(door in back of shop opens, in strides Gordon Ramsey)
Gordon: I'm sorry, are we disturbing you in here? We're trying to (bleepin) transform the (bleepin) restaurant next door but with all the racket over here we can't get anything (bleeping) done!Sabrina: Oh, put a sock in it Ramsey.
Gordon: You stupid, stupid cow. Do you have any idea how (bleepin) important I am? Do you? What's this then- (bleeping) Hair Nightmares? How very (bleeping) original.
Sabrina: Look, why don't you put your little apron back on and go back to your (bleeping) cookies and let me get some real work done.
Gordon: You idiot! Are you really that dense? (Bleep) (bleeping) (bleepity) (bleepoty) (bleep)!
(Pan to Anthony lying on the floor in a pile of hair clippings clutching his chest)
Tranh: Escuse me somebody, but I think Mister Anthony sick.
Dawyn (on cell phone): ... so then this guy said 'whatever' and I said 'whatever' and then, get this, Rachel says 'whatever Major Loser'!
Gordon: I'm sick of this! I'm sick of the whole lot of you! Do you really think you can do a (bleepin) business makeover show better than me? Oh, piss off!!
(storms out front door and into a taxi)
Sabrina: Toff.
Mark (on the floor beside his lover, holding his hand): Anthony, honey, say something, say anything!
Anthony: Darling, I'm so cold.. I see a long tunnel.. wait, there's something glowing ... its getting closer... its... its... Jennifer Lopez... in de la Renta!
Mark: Run, Anthony, run to the light!
Sabrina (on cell phone): Look, I don't give a (bleep) who he's in a meeting with. You tell him Sabrina is on the phone and this whole deal just (bleeping) (bleeps).
Camera moves to Bess who is shuffling around, shaking her head, collecting her purse and coat. muttering.. 'I knew cable TV was the work of the devil.'
Hey- it could happen!
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