Must See TV

Be sure to tune into ESPN's Outside the Lines this Sunday morning at 9:30am. TJ Quinn - ESPN investigative reporter, insider, analyst - will be presenting a report on the enablers of baseball's steroid era.

The Enablers: 'Outside the Lines'

Since George Mitchell released his landmark report into performance-enhancing drugs in baseball, much of the focus has been on the players he named. But the 311-page report also paints a picture of how a culture of doping was able to take hold. It's clear now that as steroids spread throughout baseball, people in the sport knew about it, but few saw it as a moral or ethical issue and still fewer spoke out about it or tried to stop it. Sunday morning at 9:30, EDT, on "Outside the Lines" on ESPN, investigative reporter T.J. Quinn considers who should have been watching out for the game and examines why they didn't.

Hell yeah he's my brother and I couldn't be more proud. By the way TJ, can you talk to someone over there about changing the sign off to "Reporting from Washington, TJ Quinn, ESPNallyandmaddy.com?" I think it has a nice ring to it. Thanks....

Polling our readers....

So this morning I'm writing up descriptions for my website and I write the following re: a new bag: 'it has a strap on...' and before I can finish the sentence I'm completely cracking up like a 16 year old boy. strap on... heh heh. It made me ponder why, even at an age when I should be exhibiting at least some maturity, I just see the 'dirty' in everything. But I KNOW I'm not alone. My good friend Matt informed me of a news report he had heard about a presidential primary, where the reporter said "2000 New Hampshire residents were polled earlier today." OUCH!

Well then that got me to thinking about my friend Tracy who lost it in an executive board meeting when the president of the co. kept talking about the new hires' duties, which Tracy heard as "doodies" and fell into uncontrollable fits of giggles every time they repeated it. And you know how futile it is when you try to suppress that kind of inappropriate laughter. So I want to put it to the readers to chime in with their own stories of adolescent humor and/or an occasion when they lost their composure at a most inopportune time. I'll get the ball rolling with an entry of my own:


1) The aforementioned Matt and I had gone to see my favorite singer, Tony Bennett, at Constitution Hall in DC. This was, as you can imagine, a much nicer venue than our usual concert stops (9:30 club, Norva...) and damn if we didn't feel like grown ups for once. Well, that wouldn't last long. The seats were packed in quite tight, so we sat shoulder to shoulder as the masterful stylings of Mr. Bennett washed over us. I should also point out that like Tony himself, most of the audience were card carrying members of AARP. Several songs in, Matt and I noticed the gentleman in front of us had obviously been so relaxed by the music that he had, in fact, fallen asleep. And in all my years I have NEVER seen anyone "pecking corn" with such ferocity. I thought the dude's neck would snap. And yet, he didn't wake up. At least not until the end of the song when the roaring applause jolted him from his slumber and he chimed right in with clapping, whoops and hollers. Then the next song began, and Farmer Sleepy was at it again, nod nod nodding his way through the entire concert. We were HYSTERICAL! I mean the kind of giggles where your stomach hurts, your eyes water, and just when you think you've regained your composure, BAM! you just fall apart at the seams. But there was another factor - see, since we were packed in like well aged sardines, every time I would start to lose it again, Matt could feel my shoulders start to shake so then HE would crack up. Then we'd get our shit together for a minute and one of us would set the chain in motion once again. It was a helluva concert though. :)

And did anyone ever see the Today show cookng segment when Jamie Oliver was teaching the anchors to cook fish and he kept commenting that Anne Curry had a "lovely red snapper?" I was so happy to not be the only one to catch that -- I thought Matt Lauer was gonna lose it. If anyone can find that clip for me, I will be eternally grateful.

Anyone else?? Anyone? Sarah - remember our trip to the NYC theater?

Confessions of This Shopaholic

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I went shopping up to the big ole V(of)A today. (The Outer Banks is great but guess what- NO Targay, H & M, Banana, BB&B, Steinfart, J.Crew or DSW.) So every few months good friend Janet and I hit the road for a day of shop ‘til you drop. Today was one of those days. It was more of a ‘get stuff for the home’ mission, but we checked out some fashions here and there and for the most part walked away disappointed and clutching only a t-shirt or two from Old Navy. Then we hit the Maxx… duh-duh-duh-duh and repeat… TJ Maxx. Now, I’d pretty much given up on this place. It used to be my priority Numero Uno and I would hit it before anywhere else; I learned PDQ you really were going to need one of those baby shopping carts so grab one on the way in. When traveling, I would hit the closest store whether it was near my Mom’s in PA or in Hilton Head . After awhile I realized not all TJM are created equal. The quality of the store depends on its location. Hence, the store in a tony area is more likely to boast Michael Kors bags, a Runway section and multiple Mercedes in the parking lot while one five miles away in a going downhill fast suburban mall area hasn’t been cleaned in three months, features looks you could find at your local GCF and 10 year old Camry‘s out front. Guess which type was closer to my normal haunts. But a few weeks ago I wandered into one of the good ones and found the red bag I’d spent the better part of three years searching for (ask Janet). Found a cool pair of Tommy flips. Saw a few things I would’ve tried on but there wasn’t time as we had tickets to the LIMITED ONE WEEK ENGAGEMENT 3-D Best of Both Worlds Tour Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus movie (of course, this was the SECOND week of the now unlimited run, nice work Disney). So today I threw it out as a potential hit to Janet, she’s up for it, we target one in Va Beach that might be a good one (it was) and head on over. Incidentally, this one is a Home Goods, too, which is a whole other store in itself. Find the lampshade I’m looking for and a basket; look over the shoes, hit the clothes… nothing. So I head over to the Intimates corner to look for some new PJ’s (unfortunately, the adorable Hello Kitty 3-piece set doesn‘t come in non-junior sizes). Janet meets me there and we find the ONE critical item our closets have been missing all these years- a BIG, PADDED BUTT. I’m so not kidding. Picture a pair of Spanx or other shape wear type of panties. A little high rise, thick, stretchy fabric, turn them around… it’s A BUTT!!! Think the same type of serious, molded padding that a heavy-duty DDD bra employs, make it look like two nicely lifted cheeks and you have it! A big…. padded…butt. Now, I don’t know what the article of clothing could do for a nice pair of jeans… or for your life, for that matter. But, Father, I want one. There, I said it.

A hair raising observation

On Oscar night, and in subsequent 'best dressed' round ups, there has been a lot of love out there for Jennifer Garner. As you know, Jamie and I were not fans of her look - yes, she's very, very pretty - but that damn sweeping bang was driving us batty. Any 'do in which you can actually SEE the hairspray is a bit too much, especially when the stylist is going for what's supposed to be a casual messy look. I'm sorry, but it can't be casually messy if it's shellacked within an inch of its life.
Anyhooo, I've been re-visiting this and other pics I had saved for my post-oscars post, and it wasn't until watching last night's PR episode that the light bulb FINALLY went off.






One final question, why does Renee always look like she's wondering, "who farted?"

Jamie's PR Highlights

When the next-to-last PR started I wasn’t really sure why I was inhaling the pairing of Chardonnay and Chocolate covered pretzels… by the end, I knew. My favorite highlights, not in any particular order: Tim Gunn say f’in… not the real f-word as an active word, but ‘effin’ as in f’in. TIM! You’re a real person! Then he shows up in the WORKroom in a turtleneck and leather blazer (he’s working’ that blazer the whole show)- has he ever not shown up in a suit in the workroom? Tim’s chillin! The picture of Rami’s mother in full bridal mode- omg, she looks JUST like Jillian!! Chris… the hair thing… I love Tim’s comment ‘You’re livin’ in the monkey house!’ … ‘cept to my husband and kids, I’M the monkey. Back to the hair thing.. This should make us feel good, right? It’s just hair extensions, people pay all day long to buy magazines, watch movies and listen to CD’s featuring fembots with extensions, but why is it kinda icky on clothes? It should feel better than fur, right? But why does it feel so Third Reich? I can’t answer that but love that Michael Kors slides right through it. FINALLY… after all these seasons, in the workroom a bareass baredy bare model’s butt… bending over!! Nice editing..not. Rami’s black formal dress… looks like black used car lot fringe. Chris’ black formal dress… Oscar worthy (especially this year). Then there’s that weird black and white dress of Rami’s that Nina gushes over. Am I wrong or is it not only hideous but looks just like a guinea fowl? But not as flattering. So now I understand why I am gorging on this awesome combination of chard and choco-pretzels (that my Mom brings from PA- thanks mom!) - I want Chris to win and am obviously carb-loading to show my love for the chub. PLEASE, please, please don’t let Rami win…. And then Rami f’in wins. But wait, it‘s not over… wow, Rami and Chris have a very long, touchy-squeezy hug followed by a long, lingering look with heads almost diving in for a little lip action. Now did anybody see the reunion last week? These two couldn’t keep their HANDS off each other. This week they’re roommates (for a night), maybe this was the spark? I dunno… but its looking like somebody else is Mclovin’ some chubby.

a REAL pain in the A$$

Okay, I was just getting some IRONING done (capped because that word is going to be very important in a minute), watching Project Runway reruns and just trying to busy myself while eagerly anticipating tonight’s last-episode-before-the-finale PR. Suddenly some promos for other Bravo shows comes on , and one IN particular reminds me of a pet peeve I’ve got to get off my chest. Real Housewives. REAL? HOUSE? WIVES? Are you kiddin’ me? I’ve been a housewife, know plenty of housewives, was raised by ‘em, drink with ‘em, love ‘em. MY housewives. My REAL housewives. Just as there is almost no part of their bodies which can still be considered ‘original’ neither is there anything about them fitting their moniker. Come on…. Have you ever seen Lauri at a PTA meeting?? Jeana in the grocery store juggling a toddler and a cell phone? Cooking (other than in their incredible custom-masonry outdoor kitchens)? PIcking up trash with Adopt-A-Highway Coto? Where are the soccer games they have to leave halfway through to get to the piano lessons? Where are the bumper stickers ‘Mom’s Taxi’? And… da-dah!… can you even picture Vicki ironing?? What a ruse the spin-off RH of NYC is going to be. Money says they A- don’t ride the subway; B- have never shopped for an entire week of groceries at one time and C-have never sent jellybeans and Pringles in for preschool snack saying ‘Beans! Potatoes! Veggies!’ Now go hug your favorite housewife and let her know how REAL and REALLY cool she is.

Hollywood Ragin'

The Beaches LOVE a celebrity feud. We look forward to the day when we can follow in the pages of US Magazine another battle of "firecrotch" proportions. But I think you'll agree, the smackdown between Jimmy Kimmell and Matt Damon is getting gooood. In case you haven't been following the excitement:

First, there was this...




Then Jimmy's gal pal Sarah Silverman gets involved...



And then THIS...




(god i love Huey Lewis.)