TONIGHT ON BRAVO...

Welcome to Judy's World-O-Beauty in Anywhere-Small-Town, USA. Judy's has been struggling for some time and the owners, Mark-n-Anthony, aren't sure how much longer they'll be able to stay afloat. Half their customers have disappeared this year and while Mark thinks it is a sign of the forthcoming rapture, Anthony is pretty sure it is Mark's failing eyesight and stubborn refusal to wear glasses. They've had to let most of their other stylists go and are now down to manicurist Tranh, a 70 year old shampoo 'girl' named Bess and receptionist/hair sweeper/girl Friday- Dawyn. What they don't know this Friday morning is that Sabrina Bryan, the Queen of Mean from Bravo TV's Shear Genius, is on her way right now to their salon....

SABRINA'S SALON TAKEOVER

Sabrina (striding purposefully through the door as Mark-n-Anthony stand gaping at the sight): Right then, what the (bleep) is going on here?

Anthony: ohmyGOD!!! It's Sabrina!! Mark, our prayers to Jennifer Lopez have been answered! Sabrina is here to save us!

Mark: What? Where? Is that Mr. Magoo?

Sabrina: Did you just (bleeping) compare me to a dingbat old man? I'm here to (bleepin) save you (bleepin) (bleeps) and you insult me the second I walk through the door?

Anthony: Mark, you douchebag, I told you you needed glasses!! Its S-A-B-R-I-N-A from Shear Genius! She's going to help us!

Mark: Oh sweetie, she scares the livin' daylights outta me.

Sabrina: Scary? I'll show you (bleepin) scary- 'ave you seen the cuts you've been sending out of this (bleep) hole lately? We've had a hidden camera on this (bleepin) shop all week and look what kind of (bleep) you've been sending out of here.

(fade to videos of very bad haircuts)

Mark (now crying and clinging to Anthony): Oh honey, don't leave me, you're the wind beneath my wings, I'm so sorry, I'll do anything. I'll listen to the witch, just DON'T LEAVE...

Sabrina: I'm sorry did you just call me a (bleepin) witch?

(door in back of shop opens, in strides Gordon Ramsey)

Gordon: I'm sorry, are we disturbing you in here? We're trying to (bleepin) transform the (bleepin) restaurant next door but with all the racket over here we can't get anything (bleeping) done!

Sabrina: Oh, put a sock in it Ramsey.

Gordon: You stupid, stupid cow. Do you have any idea how (bleepin) important I am? Do you? What's this then- (bleeping) Hair Nightmares? How very (bleeping) original.

Sabrina: Look, why don't you put your little apron back on and go back to your (bleeping) cookies and let me get some real work done.

Gordon: You idiot! Are you really that dense? (Bleep) (bleeping) (bleepity) (bleepoty) (bleep)!

(Pan to Anthony lying on the floor in a pile of hair clippings clutching his chest)

Tranh: Escuse me somebody, but I think Mister Anthony sick.

Dawyn (on cell phone): ... so then this guy said 'whatever' and I said 'whatever' and then, get this, Rachel says 'whatever Major Loser'!

Gordon: I'm sick of this! I'm sick of the whole lot of you! Do you really think you can do a (bleepin) business makeover show better than me? Oh, piss off!!

(storms out front door and into a taxi)

Sabrina: Toff.

Mark (on the floor beside his lover, holding his hand): Anthony, honey, say something, say anything!

Anthony: Darling, I'm so cold.. I see a long tunnel.. wait, there's something glowing ... its getting closer... its... its... Jennifer Lopez... in de la Renta!

Mark: Run, Anthony, run to the light!

Sabrina (on cell phone): Look, I don't give a (bleep) who he's in a meeting with. You tell him Sabrina is on the phone and this whole deal just (bleeping) (bleeps).

Camera moves to Bess who is shuffling around, shaking her head, collecting her purse and coat. muttering.. 'I knew cable TV was the work of the devil.'

Hey- it could happen!