Keep your pants on

When the following headline popped up on my computer screen, I just couldn't resist investigating further:

No Pants Is The New Skinny Jean

Wow. Apparently it was the trend for designers to send their models down the runway in what basically amounts to bejeweled panties. Though this is one trend I'm not TOO terribly concerned about catching on, I can actually see where one could make an argument in its favor.

I'd like to take you on a trip through what I like to call the evolution of an outfit. Here's how it works: you've got one article of clothing you KNOW you want to wear. So you put it on. Let's say, for this argument, that it's a killer pair of shoes. So you strap on the shoes, and start rummaging through your wardrobe in search of a coordinating piece (but not matchy-matchy cause that would be just wrong), and your eyes fall on a pretty blouse. So you put it on. Cute! Now to the bottom half. Hmm...these pants go with the top, let's try 'em. Very cute pants, but they cover the shoes, so no go. These pants over here are the perfect length and go GREAT with the shoes. Put those on. But they don't look so hot with the blouse. But you know what does?? That sweater. Put it on. Ack! No. Take it off. What about that super cute new dressy tee. It's good, but it needs a little somethin. The cardigan? Nope, that looks like crap. OOH I know - that coat! Perfect. The top part of my outfit is fantastic, but doesn't really go with these pants. Let's try these pants over here. Not good for the butt. Maybe a skirt? That would show off the shoes a little better. So, off with the pants, you try on several skirts, and after 4 or 5 tries you just can't get the proportion right.

Now, at this point, you're probably about 20 minutes late for wherever you're supposed to be heading, and possibly starting to break into a bit of a sweat as well. Your husband/boyfriend is starting to get annoyed (you're not dressed YET? What the hell was wrong with the first 3 outfits you tried on?), you explain you'll be ready in TWO MINUTES I SWEAR (which is code for put a sock in it, cause I'm bloated and you have NO IDEA how hard this is all you had to do was throw on some pants & a button down so just step off). At this point, pretty much the entire contents of your closet are on the floor and/or the bed and you're ready to give up, throw on some sweats and call it a night, when in fact what you really want to do is this:



Of course I would recommend a bra, and a little more effort on the hair, but you get my point.