jerry,jerry

okay, i get a bee showing up.... but then I remembered the award for animated feature had already been given out... so I'm wondering... hey! why is the bee (Jerry Seinfeld) just now showing up and how come he wasn't nominated for a best animated feature? ... but I really didn't care and just assumed the bee was filler and went away but then, in midst of conversation with my co-blogger, i realized I was still hearing the bee (aka Jerry's) voice and realized the Bee was a Presenter... okay, I'm at home, seeing the Bee, hearing Bee... but what is the audience in the actual theatre doing all this time? checking teeth, lipstick, adjusting spanx, etc... because remember- they can't SEE the BEE!!!
and now Tilda has won... omg, as if she wasn't interesting-looking enough... now we get a really good look at her black velvet maude gown, we now realize she is so friggin pale that her excitement at winning translates into a definitive shade of green, I swear she's going to throw up at any minute.... but who can't love that name- Tilda Swinton... and that whole Narnia thing- too COOL... lookout Cate... this chick could become serious competition...
scuz me while I kiss my pretzel coated klondike bar.... and enter the diet coke Heidi Klum Oscar dress competition... and pour another glass ofDynamite Cab .... during a word from our sponsors....
and we're back with a pregger Jessica Alba announcing winners of previously announced awards....
okay...how excited would you be to win an oscar, at a 'luncheon'... that takes place two WEEKS before the actual Oscars... at an undisclosed place... I don't think Regis or Joan was there and, the big question, what do you wear? an ozzie harriet type Luncheon dress? A j-Lo caftan? what in the f-in world do you wear to a middle of the day 'who cares' oscar awards luncheon? How about stirrup pants, reeboks and a t-shirt that says 'word to your llama'...because really, wouldn't you just be stopping by on your way to the gym? I mean, does anything about it imply you should be wearing anything more?