I Feel Pretty

I got so caught up by Quinn kicking my butt in the AT&T sponsored ‘Famous Friends & Family’ contest that I spent all day trying to think of anybody to play on my team but all I got is a middle-school boyfriend I haven’t seen in over twenty years who shares the name of an actor in the upcoming movie A Dog Year. So Josh Liveright, if you’re the same Josh Liveright who went to SEMS, how YOU doin’?
Now for the post I meant to post yesterday… Make Me A Supermodel. AKA.. Make Me Feel Incredibly Superior to Beautiful People. (at least these particular beautiful people). This is basically Real World with all the average looking smart roommates screened out. They’re strangers, right? They’ve been picked to live in a house, right? And they’re viciously pitted against each other daily by the show’s editors and producers, right? It’s like Jonathan Murray and Bridgitte Nielsen got together over cocktails and figured out a whole new way to torture unsuspecting young souls.
My first highlight comes right after Jackie gets the boot and says ‘This is what I was born to do…’. Now I think Jackie is really attractive and, like Cory said, is probably well suited for swimwear, which I am most certainly not. But in ten or so years when the looks go followed by the body what will you have been ‘born to do’ then? It’s not like saying ’I was born to play the flutophone!’ which is a talent you can always bank on.
A big question mark for me pops up as the models pile into cars outside their building. They’re riding around in Mercedes! The Project Runway people, who actually design and make clothes that the bodies wear on the catwalk, ride around in Saturns. Is there something just not right about that? Apparently the folks over at PR are getting their booties kicked by the product placement people at Supermodel. But then, doesn’t it seem like the beautiful people always get the best stuff?
I missed last week where they cut Frankie’s naturally wavy, full bodied hair; He’s still adorable, especially when he keeps twitching his head around to make those non-existent tresses bounce around. (Now there's a talent!) He better get used to the fact there’s no more hair to flick or he’ll be having C1 issues.
Perry is so incredibly relieved to have been spared by the AllTel Wireless Voting Network that he’s gone all yogi overnight and does the whole pressed hand ‘namaste’ thing about ten times. Peace out, bro.
Shannon… what’s wrong with that girl? She’s obviously having serious issues which, based on symptoms, could be gallbladder, appendix or, my vote, she has agreed to have Ben & Ronnie’s love child and is in the first stages of a difficult, skinny girl pregnancy. I love the half-hearted voice that says ‘Gosh, I hope she’s alright’ when Shannon is all but collapsing on the snow. I love that the judges think she is SO professional for doing the catwalk after having just been in the hospital TWO hours ago. But is anybody WORRIED about WHY that poor child was in hospital?? People, what’s important here? Shannon, go see a specialist. You can’t enjoy the title of Supermodel if you’re dead even though you'll forever be remembered as young and hot.
The whole Ben thing this week is out of left field. He really hurt Ronnie, will there be make-up sex? I don’t believe his apology 'I didn't mean it' could be taken seriously for a minute. But I also spit beer everywhere moments later when these words come out of this cute little southern baby boy’s mouth- ‘when I was in school... and then college’. Nuff said.
Final note- from the first time I saw this show a few weeks ago every time I hear Tyson say ‘It is now up to America to decide who can be made a Supermodel and who can’t’ this same thought comes into my head: wha, the producers can't trust this judging panel enough to let them make the decisions? But I guess if it works for American Idol, why not give it a shot.