I received this email from my sister last week:
"A friend of mine asked if there are any girl positive movies or cartoons that focus on the female relationships (daughter/mother, etc) for little girls that don't involve princesses. She days she can only find father/daughter stuff and since dad is a bit of a dick, she rather not enforce the idea that daddy will save the day. Any ideas or suggestions?"
Well this shouldn't be too hard. So I started listing all the mother/daughter movies I could think of off the top of my head: Terms of Endearment. uh, no. Mermaids. no. Gypsy. no. Thirteen. HELL no. Turns out to be a much more challenging assignment than I thought, and than it should be.
According to Hollywood, if you're a married mom you're basically a passenger on the 'daddy rules' train, and if you're single, well, then you're either an addict or a wacko, but you're definitely NOT a good role model. You are, by definition, struggling and in need of someone to save the day. (What the hell was the name of that movie with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney, you know, where she's a mess and loses his kid? One Fine Day. If you haven't seen it, don't worry about it. I just told you all you need to know.) The only time mothers are seen as strong is when they are protecting their young (see: Terminator, horror flicks, animal channel). And as we know, Disney doesn't make a movie where mom isn't evil or dead.
Sarah and I talked at length last night about how ridiculous it is that NO ONE could come up with a suggestion. The closest I got was Bridge to Terebithia, but her relationship with her mother isn't a major part of the movie, and (spoiler alert!) she dies. So THAT's out. Sarah nominated Gilmore Girls, which is a great and RARE example of a healthy mother/daughter relationship (and a terrific show if you haven't seen it), but a little too mature for our purposes.
What we did discover was that some of the strongest characters came from 1970's television, where you really had the first examples of strong single moms: One Day at a Time, The Partridge Family, Kate & Allie (okay that was the 80's but you get our point). The Cosby Show, Good Times, The Golden Girls, My So Called Life (not always happy, but a realistic portrayal), The Simpsons -- there are some decent examples out there, but not quite what we're looking for. A quick google search reveals only one new suggestion, Reba. I've never seen her show, but if someone has I'd love to hear more.
We were finally able to come up with only one suggestion: Ice Princess. Yes it has 'princess' in the title, which we were trying to avoid, and it does have a bit of that ugly duckling into swan thing which can drive me crazy, BUT it's a great example of mothers and daughters looking out for each other, being pals but yet maintaining their respective roles, and keeping that incredibly powerful bond. Plus, I cried a little when Joan Cusack showed up for the big competition at the end, so it HAS to be good, right?
So...I'm putting this out to all the amazing moms out there...what do YOU think?
7 comments:
I also had trouble coming up with a movie suggestion at first. But here's one: the Freaky Friday remake. You obviously have to turn a blind eye to Lindsey Lohan being the star. (Hopefully your daughter doesn't read the tabloids). It's a silly plot. But are there many kids' movies that we couldn't say that about? What's good, though, is that the mother is a successful psychologist willing to put her kids needs' ahead of her own. Also the daughter plays in a girl rock band, and the love interest ends up being her groupie instead of the other way around. In the end, mom and daughter learn empathy for each other. Decent lesson there. Intended audience is probably a tween one. But my 8-year-old has watched it, and I think it was fine for her. I'm guessing anyone younger wouldn't understand a lot of it. (This entry from Coll not Teej)
Frist of all (and there will be a second), only being recently indoctrinated into the world of having a daughter, I certainly can't claim to be any kind of an expert on mother/daughter-ing. Second, I've got the whole testosterone thing on my side/against me (you pick)... Best I can do is TV rather than movies.
Noggin carries a show called Frankliln that has gone over well in our home. Our son loves it, and so far, the extent of violence is paper towel tubes being used for swordplay.
The mothers in the show seem to take much more of a role in the community than most of the Fathers (Bear's mom is the local doctor, Goose's mom it the librarian, Franklin's Grandmother teaches piano lessons...) Other than Fox's dad, most of the Dads are pretty passive, and don't do much.
WoW..This is a tough one. Steel Magnolias comes to mind. The mother/daughter relationship between Sally Field and Julia Roberts was a good one, but the movie is way too mature for little girls. A little twist on the Disney tragedy... the DAUGHTER dies instead of the mom. This is really tough. I'll have to keep thinking on it......
sheesh, this is like stump the chump with click 'n clack the car brothers.... I'm still thinking!
I loved "Spanglish" and I think it is an underrated movie. The strongest thing about it is the heartfelt struggle of a single, working mother in an out of her league environment and her challenge to keep her daughter grounded. The juxtaposition of this relationship with the Tea Leoni character and her own daughter and mother is startling as well as illuminating.
Kate
I'm thinking Mermaids with Cher and winona Ryder...it turns out good at the end, doesn't it? I don't really remember.
oh wait...I missed the point about current portrayals, so Mermaids doesn't work anyway. Never mind.
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