But how does my ass look?

Dear QB readers,

I've been thinking of trying out a new look, and I wanted to get your opinion. Summer is around the corner, and I think I really want to shake things up, step outside the box, try a little something new. I feel like I've been doing the same old boring, 'clean' look for years now, and it's time for something different. I mean, who wants to look like every other mom at the playground? So I've made a couple of changes - nothing too major, just easing into it.

Okay, so maybe this picture isn't the most flattering of me -- I think it's a bad camera angle, or the lighting is off -- but you can still get the idea, right? I'm totally digging my new 'do. If I really tease and spray it just right, I can go weeks without washing it (you totally can't tell, right?), and if I don't feel like carrying a purse, I can just store stuff in my hair. It's brilliant! I've got 3 more necklaces and a change of shoes in there right now (totally one of those "day-to-evening" looks.) I know the eye makeup looks like a lot of work for every day, but as you get older I think you'll agree with me that it's worth putting in that extra effort every day. Try it. You'll thank me. And the faux tear drop I drew under my eye. Cute, right? It's witty and coy, and it's like, ironic, cause like, I look really happy on the outside but it's like I'm crying on the inside. It's symbolic. (I'm protesting the cigarette tax. And tans.) Unfortunately my blush and lipstick seemed to have worn off, but it's okay, isn't it? I mean, I still want to look natural. And how sexy am I with that saucy bra hanging out of my shirt? The whole look just oozes sex appeal, does it not? Well, it's certainly oozing something.

Now that we're such super stars, I thought a makeover might help me score more press. I already got a call from some place in Malibu called "Promises". Sounds like a nice place -- really relaxing. I hear there's LOTS of celebrities there. It'll be so cool! But they said I'd have to leave my pipes and doobies at home. They're so silly - I don't even play an instrument!

Anyhoodle, just thought I'd give you guys the first "crack" at commenting on my new look. I hope you like it. I think it looks GREAT! Alrighty then, thanks!

Love and sloppy kisses,

KQ